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Precisely five seconds ago he was draped over the crook of my arm like a warm pea pod while I peacefully enjoyed the Harry Potter saga and sipped Chai lattes (with no lid!). Suddenly my straw is making that empty-glass gurgly sound and he is gone! He has slipped out of my dreamy embrace to fight with his brother and throw chicken nuggets on the floor.Thankfully, I knew just what to do. "Charlie! No sir!" I yelled and I mean YELLED with my mean frowny eyes digging right into his hard little head. Hahaha, that got Toby in line every time. I heard whimpering...
from Toby (wha?). Charlie, however, looked at me and laughed before running away with giddy excitement.
Mayday!
Over the past weeks I have spanked him. (Hilarious!) Put him in time out. (Thanks, I felt like a rest!) Took away toys. (I was done anyway!) Put him in his room. (I love it in there!) Yelled some more--louder, finger pointy-er, until the veins in my temples exploded and my head spun off into outer space. Did he wince? No! He appeared jubilant, no PROUD, of his powerful little self!
I overheard his preschool teachers talking about the "naughty spot." The naughty spot, hmmm, worth a try. Later, I caught him throwing an expectant peek over his shoulder as he casually unplugged the DVD player during Toby's movie.
"Charlie, do you need to go to the naughty spot?" I asked. And...
His lower lip trembled. TREMBLED! He let go of the plug, hung his head, and waddled away. I have never felt such joy making a child cry in shame. Booyah!!!!
Today, I am going to ignore his charming dimples (okay, one little cheek squeeze). I am going to ignore his father (the pastor!) who insists "naughty spot" sounds a little dirty. Today victory is mine!!!! Mwahahaha!*
*Feel free to leave ideas for tomorrow...
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Sounds like something from Super Nanny. Isn't that what she calls timeout? I say whatever works. Maybe I should try it...
ReplyDeleteJust hope that "the naughty spot" doesn't come up in his thera;py sessions 20 years from now. You may have some explaining to do....
ReplyDeletethat is sooo hilarious. i have TWO just like that and have felt that same guilty joy.
ReplyDeleteBecca
Finger Pointy-er, right there with you friend.
ReplyDeleteI think there should be an award for how hard you can clinch your jaw while trying to still get words out of your mouth...
I do agree with Greg by the way on the name...that's funny.
Ok, I'm going to try it. At this point I will give anything a try b/c the next step is inflicting some kind of serious harm on my kid. And I can't do that. Wish me luck!
ReplyDeleteYea for the naughty spot!! You have found your discipline tool for Mr. Charlie. No new tips from me. The best thing to get into the heart of a strong-willed child is consistency. There may come a day that the naughty spot doesn't work anymore, but until then, use it for all it's worth. Even if it does sound a little dirty. :)
ReplyDelete*Tish-ishish
ReplyDeleteThat is a chapter for a book, Barrett had to ask me several times what I was laughing at... HILARIOUS, and alarmingly true; thanks for the heads up with two little boys.
The Days (Dr. Jeff and Jen) told a good story about finding what works, she should post about it.
Love it.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, Seth laughs at me when I scold him, too.
I love this! I laughed out loud!! I am thinking Luke is going to be JUST like Charlie! Sadly right now he would have no idea what a naughty spot is, or the word no, or a hand spank etc....!! SOON THOUGH, OH SO SOON!
ReplyDeleteI am so laughing. You are too funny! Just when we think we have discipline down, it backfires. Unfortunately, discipline is not one size fits all. Just wait until they get older. It gets worse! Sorry...I'm laughing again. John and I finally outsourced our Discipline Management to the Holy Ghost. He has the most effective and creative ideas. Mwahahaha!
ReplyDeleteThis is MAX to a tee! Our boys might not need to hang out afterall, they might plot to take over the world or something!
ReplyDeletehilarious!! You have totally made the morning all day sickness laugh away!!! Thank you
ReplyDelete